The Time-Traveling Job
by FictionMaker007
Summary: The team is back again for the adventure of a lifetime. Parker makes an unannounced journey to the US Patent Office and winds up in the future. Now the Leverage team is caught in a race with Serenity's crew against...Sterling AND Badger? Full of fun, humor, action, drama, romance, and adventure, I sure hope my story comes out as good as it sounds. (Eliot/? surprise ;)
1. Chapter 1

_Ha_, Parker thought as she lowered herself down with a cable, _this was _so_ easy!_

Parker (one of the world's most renown thieves) had broken into the United States Patent Office with one thing on her mind.

She reached the floor and detached the black rope, surveying her surroundings. She'd forgotten just how big the room was, seemingly endless shelves that reached the ceiling were stuffed full of prototypes. Ridiculous, half-baked, and defective inventions of every shape and size sat, collecting dust. The specific object she was looking for could be anywhere, not to mention she only had a vague description from Eliot to help her find it.

_This might be a little harder than I thought._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Yo, Sophie?" Hardison asked, looking at his phone.

"What is it, Hardison?" Sophie replied.

"Have you heard from Parker, 'cause she's not answering her phone."

"No, no, I can't say I have. She might be with Nate and Eliot."

"Huh, maybe."

Hardison went back to frowning at his text history between him and Parker.

"We got the beer," Eliot grinned as he walked into the back room of Hardison's restaurant. "Where's Parker?" he asked after he'd looked around, "she's the one that loves movie night."

"I thought she was with you getting chocolate or something," Hardison responded.

"She might be out getting last minute presents," Nate offered.

The team was in Portland, Oregon and Nate and Sophie were there for their annual, weekly Christmas visit.

"Then why wouldn't she be answering my texts?" Hardison demanded.

Eliot moaned, "Are you saying we got to go look for Parker _now_? Maybe her phone died."

The hitter took a seat and opened a beer.

"She left here an hour or so ago and I'm tellin' you, she was up to something," Hardison said.

"Do one of your fancy GPS-tracking things and figure out where she is."

The hacker sighed, "You will _never_ understand what I do."

He left the room, mumbling to himself about hard work and disappearing thieves. The man went into his bedroom and seated himself at his wooden desk. Hardison opened his laptop, hooked up his phone, and attempted to get a location on his girlfriend.

"Her phone must be off," he mumbled to himself when nothing turned up. _Or her phone died, like Eliot said_, he thought but something in his gut told him his first theory was right.

On his hunch, he got up and walked over to Parker's bedroom. The hacker seated himself at her neat, prim desk and opened her laptop. He set up a firewall and emergency memory shredders for her in case someone tried to hack into it but he could easily bypass his own software. The first thing he did once he was in was take a look at her browser history. Interestingly enough, he found her days activity wiped clean.

"People never learn; this trick _never_ works. Now, what were you up to big mama?"

After a few minutes, he found that she'd looked up directions to…wait, this didn't make any sense. The hacker got up and re-entered the main room where the team held briefings.

"Uh, guys, I think Parker's pulling a heist or something," the words slipped out of his mouth before he realized how ridiculous it sounded.

"What? Parker wouldn't do that," Sophie said, puzzled.

"What'd you mean, a heist?" demanded Eliot.

"Well-er, see she turned her phone off-"

"I'm telling you, her phone just died."

"She deleted her browser history."

"What are you doing on her computer in the first place?"

"And she printed directions to-"

"Hey, uh, Hardison," interrupted Nate, "don't you think you're being a little paranoid? I mean, we all care about Parker but you're being a ah-"

"Fine, I get it," Hardison left the room in a huff.

Eliot rolled his eyes. In a few minutes, the hacker came back with his car keys and jacket.

"Hardison, where are you going?" Sophie asked gently.

"To the U.S Patent Office," he replied.

She looked bewildered, "Why on Earth are you going there?"

"That's where Parker's at."

Eliot almost choked on his beer, "What? How do you know?"

Hardison didn't even look at him when he answered, "That's the directions she looked up before she deleted her web history."

"Dammit, Hardison, why didn't you say so?"

"Since when did you care?"

The hitter got out of his chair and walked to the thief's bedroom.

"She keeps her stuff in her closet, right?"

"Yeah, but you shouldn't-"

Too late, Eliot was already reaching for the closet door. It swung open to reveal some sweaters hanging up and a few pair of shoes lined on the wood floor. To anyone else, it would seem as if nothing was missing but the hitter knew better. If nothing was missing from this girl's closet then she'd have climbing gear, lockpicks, a black hairnet, etc., neatly arranged to be grabbed in a moment's notice.

"Dammit, Parker," groaned Eliot.

"What is it?" Sophie asked, standing with the other two men in the doorway.

"I know what she's doing, and we gotta stop her before she gets herself killed."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Ohh, a locked door, this looks promising,_ Parker approached a heavy steel door that looked more like a vault entrance.

She stroked the metallic entrance, admiring its advanced security. The thief quietly made note of the nine-digit keypad, thumbprint scanner, and heavy spokes she'd have to get past. Then, she set to work. Her hands snaked into her backpack, snatching a white cloth and a small container of black powder. She skillfully rubbed the powder over the fingerprint scanner, waited, then pressed down with the white cloth. The screen glowed green and Parker turned her attention to the keypad. She took her time, first applying one of her own concoctions to the buttons, shining an ultra-violet light over it, and scribbling the numbers that glowed on a small pad of paper. The thief assessed the options, debated what would trigger the alarm, pondered the password possibilities, and racked her brain to remember what she'd found in the building blueprints and diagrams of the security layout from their last job here. All she could recall was that this part of the building was supposed to be mostly empty. Someone wanted to keep whatever was behind this door a secret. Excited, Parker began figuring the possibilities for the password.

_Let's see, four digit password and one repeat, should be easy enough._

On her first try, however, she got an angry _beep_ and the screen directly above the keypad began counting down from two minutes.

Now_ things are exciting_, Parker thought happily.

Her fingers flew from button to button.

_One minute and thirty seconds, need to pick up the pace._

She flipped the page on her notepad and again set to her work feverishly.

_A minute ten, jeez, I hope I'm not losing my touch._

Parker completed a little less than a third of her written possibilities.

_Fifty seconds, FASTER, PARKER! FASTER! You're gonna get caught and arrested then Nate's gonna have to get you out of jail and you'll be in _so_ much trouble!_

The thief almost completed half of her written passcodes but she'd found her rhythm.

_Almost! Almost! Almost!_

Suddenly, the screen flashed green and the giant spokes began to turn automatically. Parker did an excited dance. The door swung open to reveal a few more floor-to-ceiling shelves with mysterious (and deadly) looking prototypes.

"Silver, black buttons, looks like R2-D2," she mumbled the vague description under her breath as she started down the aisle.

Parker scoured the shelves for the exact invention she was looking for. In a few minutes she found it. Just like Eliot had said, it did have a resemblance to the _Star Wars_ robot except the colors were different and it didn't have any wheels. Unable to resist, Parker began to fiddle with the pitch-black dials and buttons. Then the blue screen surrounded by the keypad she was prodding began to glow. Light shot out of it like lasers and started -was it-scanning her body?

"This is _so cool_!" squealed the theif. "Eliot! Come-"

She stopped herself, Eliot wasn't here, nor was Hardison, or Sophie, or Nate. She was alone.

** Transporting to previously used destination. Year 2517 A.D.**

"Wait! No!" Parker started but it was too late.

Three seconds later tendrils of smoke curled around the spot where the thief stood but there was no sign of her. The giant door slammed shut and the room was as still as if no one had entered it in years.


	2. Chapter 2

Parker opened her eyes to find herself standing in some kind of cockpit. Nets secured stacked crates and she could see two more stories of plane was above her. At least, she _assumed_ it was a plane, though it was the second largest one she'd ever seen. She didn't see anyone and heard only the soothing hum of the engine. Before she could start to explore her environment, however, the thief could swear someone was sneaking up on her. Parker whirled around to find a gun in her face. At least, it _looked_ like a gun, but it made a high-pitched _whir_ and was a lot different than any other gun she'd ever come across. The man holding the gun was wearing a long, mud-brown coat and…suspenders? He stared at her with hard, unblinking eyes.

"Who are you and what the hell are you doing on my ship?" demanded the stranger.

"I, I-uh…uh," Parker stuttered.

He cocked his weapon, "I won't ask you again."

"Uh, Parker. Just Parker and I have no idea how I got here. It was an accident, really."

"So you're saying you just _happened_ to stumble into my boat and _accidentally_ started examining my cargo?"

"I didn't- wait…what do you mean _boat_?"

"Mal!" another male voice called. "Mal! We'll be landing in fifteen- woa."

A tall, muscular man with thick eyebrows emerged from the doorway.

"Who's this little lady? Another one of your _wives_?" the new guy asked.

"She-no, Jayne, this is-" Mal looked back to Parker expectantly.

"Parker," the thief glared at Jayne coldly. "_Just_, Parker."

The man gave Parker a visual massage. Jayne reminded her of a mark the team would take down. An arrogant bully and a playboy.

"Well, _Just_ Parker, you here for me?"

"No, I'm not," she snapped. "I got her by accident I was in the U.S Patent Office looking for the time machine and it was so cool-looking and I didn't think it would work and then there was a lot of lights and-"

Both men started talking at once.

"_Cái bù shì_!" Mal was saying. "_Kuángzhěde_!"

"_Gǒushǐ_," Jayne added. "Mal, this chick's gotta screw loose!"

_What language are they speaking_, she wondered

"She's telling the truth," a soft voice interjected.

The thief looked up to see a slender, long-haired girl in a dress and combat boots on the metallic bridge above them.

"No one asked you!" snarled Jayne.

Ignoring his comment, she got up and gracefully walked down the steps and joined the three people. She examined Parker closely, making the thief feel more uncomfortable than when Jayne was looking at her.

"You traveled such a long way. Farther than the distance between stars, yet, you came here in just seconds. It's up to you to bring us together and save you." Suddenly, she whirled on Mal accusingly. "She's telling the truth! You have to help her, and her friends! They need to go back home!"

"Simon! You're sister's goin' crazy again!" Jayne yelled.

"River," a soothing voice came from the same steel doorway Jayne entered. "River, come here."

Soon, a cute, smaller man with jet black hair joined them.

"Come on, River, let's go," he gently draped his arm around her. "Oh," he said, just noticing Parker. "Where did she…is she a new recruit? We've been in space for days and I've never seen her."

"She's not a new recruit," Mal began to explain.

"Space?" Parker demanded.

"Honestly, I don't know who she is-"

"Space?"

"We just kinda, found her."

"SPACE!"

"And I'm getting the notion to shoot her the next time she says 'space!'"

"What do you mean, space?"

"You're kidding, right?" the cute guy (er-Simon) raised his eyebrow.

"As in _outer_ space? Like, outside _Earth_? _That_ space?" Parker's throat went dry.

"Earth? No one's been on Earth for centuries now."

The men looked at her like she was asking if the moon was made of cheese. She couldn't take it anymore, she had to see for herself. Before anyone could blink, she bolted. The thief ran to the stairs River used and took them two or three at a time. Mal and Jayne pounded after her. They weren't as fast as her, but they knew where she was going.

"She's got no where to run in Inara's shuttle!" called Jayne as the thief opened a steel door.

Parker wasn't looking for an escape, she was looking for a window. The door led to a small room elaborately decorated with scarlet, orange, and gold tapestries and cloths.

"Mal, what did I tell you about barging-" the thief almost ran into the owner of the new voice: a pale, beautiful woman in a silk robe. "Oh…what?"

Ignoring the woman, Parker looked around desperately for a window. Just as the door swung open, she caught a glimpse of something behind one of the curtains. She ran to it and found that it led to another part of the room. It was some kind of control room with a large panel full of screens, buttons, knobs, and loose wires. Most important, was a large windshield directly above it. The thief leaned against it, looking out from all angles, desperately trying to get a glimpse of land. All she saw was a thick black cloud and glimpses of part of the ship. Suddenly, her arms were being wrenched behind her back.

"Tie her up," commanded Mal. "Shepards not here, so you can take her to his bedroom."

"With pleasure," Jayne grinned.

Mal sighed, "_Not_ like that, Jayne."

Parker didn't even try to walk, forcing her captor to half drag, half carry her to the other side of the ship.

"Come on," complained Jayne. "You're legs sure as hell ain't broke."

The thief said nothing and after she was bound to a chair in a cozy little bedroom, she cried. She went to extra lengths to be sure no one would find her and know she was a gazillion years in the future, trapped on a spaceship, and all alone.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Here it is," Eliot said, gesturing to a machine that looked suspiciously like a robot from _Star Wars_.

"Okay, what is it?" inquired Hardison.

The hitter gave an incomprehensible answer.

"A _what_?"

"A time machine."

The hacker did a face palm. "We are _trying_ to find Parker! Not go on a geeky goose chase!"

"Yeah, uh, Eliot," Nate said, "why did you bring us here?"

"Look," the man advanced to the machine. Then, he expertly pressed a series of buttons. "Nate, do you trust me?"

"Hold on, Eliot, what are you talking about? Trust you to do _what_ exactly?" inquired Nate.

"I just need you to trust me and just don't freak out. Okay?"

"Alright," the man answered hesitantly.

The hitter positioned Nate directly in front of the odd-looking machine and punched another button. Within moments, the mastermind had disappeared in an impressive flash of light.

"What the bloody hell was that!" screamed Sophie. "Where'd he go, Eliot?"

"If you stand there, I'll show you," the hitter gestured to the spot Nate originally stood.

"_NO_ thank-you! You're all just pulling some _stupid_ prank and I'm _done_ with it!"

"Dammit, Sophie! I'll send you right to him if you just stand there!"

In the midst of their argument, Hardison stood, open-mouthed. He stared where Nate once was, like if he looked hard enough, the man would come back.

"If you would just _listen _to me! I _know_ what I'm doin' Sophie! Nate trusted me and I-"

"Yeah, he did, now he's bloody _disintegrated_!"

"And I'm askin' you to do the same!" Eliot's voice was softer and more comforting when he added: "Please, just trust me."

The grifter was very distraught and finally nodded her head and squeezed her eyes shut as she took her place. In a similar burst of bright light, she was gone too. Only wisps of smoke remained. Then, the hitter turned to Hardison.

"Hardison-"

"Will this take me to Parker?" interrupted the hacker.

"Yes."

Hardison planted himself in front of the machine. "Let a rip."

"Age of the geek, I'll see you on the other side, man."

When the hacker was gone, Eliot jabbed the button one last time and quickly jumped in front of the ray of light before he too disappeared. As soon as he was gone, a sixth figure approached the time machine.

"What kind of trick is this?" the man murmured aloud.

He'd been looking for a chance to have a private conversation with Nate but instead found himself witnessing a break-in and a brilliant vanishing act. Taking a leap of faith, he mimicked Eliot's button-pressing combination and stood in front of the machine.

Once again there was silence in the vault with only wisps of smoke as evidence to the six successful time-travelers.


	3. Chapter 3

"**ELIOT! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE WE!"** Sophie screeched.

The people bustiling around them shot her dirty looks as they passed.

"Be quiet, Sophie," hissed Eliot, "let's just step inside a bar and I'll explain everything."

"NOW'S NOT THE TIME FOR A DRINK!"

"Sophie," it was Nate that spoke this time, "please, I'm just as bewildered as you are so let's just calm down and hear him out." He looked at Eliot as he said: "I'm sure we're all very interested in what he has to say."

They followed the hitter through a crowd of poorly-dressed people to the nearest bar (which wasn't much of a walk.) The whole way there, Hardison mumbled incomprehensible things about teleportation and _Punk'd_.

"Alright," began Eliot, "when I was working for…Moreau, I was on a job looking for a weapon in the U.S Patent Office. While I was there I found the time-machine." He looked around to see how his story was boding with the others.

The grifter looked ready to slap someone while Nate just stared intensely at him the way he studied a mark. This made the hitter look away and continue.

"I found myself right in the middle of a warzone-"

"Uh-huh, _then_ what happened," demanded Hardison.

"Then I ended up fighting side-by-side with the Browncoats."

"Yeah, then you won, went back home, and lived happily ever after."

"No," Eliot glared at the hacker, "actually, I came on scene during the end of the war, only fought for three months. Then we lost and I spent four more months scraping by with this sergeant on the rim and figuring out a way to get home. I chased legends, followed rumors, and looked up any nutshell that said anything about time-traveling. Finally, I found out the Alliance was hiding some time-traveling device on Bellerophon."

"Bella-what now?" Hardison asked.

"Bellerophon, Hardison, now will you quit interrupting me?"

"The hell's Bellerophon supposed to mean?"

"It's a planet, now will you shut up?"

"Ain't no planet _I_ ever heard of." Eliot growled. "Of _course_ you haven't 'cause this is in the damn future, Hardison!"

They quieted after the bartender gave them a suspicious glance. "Anyway, I barely made it out of their desert-base with the thing. Once I figured out how it worked, I went back and ended up a few miles south of the Patent Office on the same day I left."

"Uh-huh cool. Uh-first question: what the hell does this have to do with Parker? Second, where the hell are we really? Mars?"

"We're not on Mars, Hardison, and I already told you, Parker must've gone looking for time-machine."

"Where are we, Eliot?" Sophie asked quietly.

"We're on Persephone. You know that sergeant I was talking about? Well one way or another he makes a stop here so we can hitch a ride and find Parker."

"Alright fine, so where is your G.I Joe friend?" Hardison demanded.

For the first time since they arrived, Eliot grinned. "You're gonna love this."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Is-is-is that a-uh…uh spaceship?" stuttered Hardison.

"Yep, how's that for your Star Trek?" the hitter smiled.

Nate and Sophie stood nearby, mouths agape. Then the mastermind cleared his throat, "Ah, Eliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Exactly how long is it gonna take to find your friend?"

"I dunno, it depends. We could be waiting a month or-oh, look, his ship's landing right there."

The three turned to see a ship with faded paint on the sides descend onto the ground below. Compared to some of the others they'd seen so far, this one looked like crap. Then they followed the hitter to _Serenity_. He approached a small, brunette, girl wearing greasy clothes and a big smile.

"Hey, there," Eliot began, "listen, I'm looking for-"

"Oh, sorry," interrupted the girl, "we're not taking on passengers right now."

"No, I'm not a hitchhiker, I'm a friend. See, I'm lookin' for a Malcolm Reynolds."

"Why? Does he owe ya money?"

"No, I'm just a friend."

"Sure you're not here to kill him?"

"That's not my intention."

"Well then, what's your name?"

"Eliot, Eliot Spencer."

"Alright, you hang on while I'll go find the Captain." The girl did a little hop/skip/walk into the mouth of the spaceship. A few minutes later, a man wearing a long coat and suspenders came out.

"Wǒ de tiān," the man said, clearly surprised. "I can't believe you're here!"

"Can't believe you're still alive, Mal," Eliot countered playfully and shook the man's hand.

"Uh-sorry to break up the little reunion," Hardison interrupted, "but we're here to find, Parker, remember?"

Mal didn't seem to notice the hacker. "Well, what a coincidence. You show up the day this crazy girl just appears on my ship and babbles about time-traveling."

"Did she say what her name was?" asked the hacker, stepping in-between Mal and Eliot.

"Who the hell are you?"

"He's a friend, Mal, can you just answer is question?" The hitter answered.

"Yeah," Mal turned back to Hardison.

"She was real picky about it too, sayin' she was _just_ Parker."

Before anyone could say anything, Hardison grabbed Mal's suspenders and began shouting: "WHERE IS SHE!?" Quickly, Eliot grabbed the hacker and threw him off before Mal punched him in the face. "WHERE IS SHE?! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HER!?"

"Mal, meet Hardison, Parker's boyfriend," the hitter introduced.

"I don't give a yi da tuo da bian who he is." "Sarge, that girl's like a sister to me, we came here lookin' for her?"

"Mal, I just got done-uh- what's goin' on?" Jayne eyeballed the three men whose eyes were locked in a silent battle.

"Just give us Parker and we'll be out of your hair," Sophie said, stepping forward.

"Uh, Mal? Who the hell are all these people?"

"Jayne, show these people where our stowaway is," the captain commanded.

"But Mal-"

"Jayne, that's an order."

The muscular man trudged back into the ship, cussing in English and Chinese about following orders. Eliot released Hardison and they followed with Nate and Sophie closely behind and Mal bringing up the rear. When Jayne reached Shepard's room, he slid open the door and watched the new-comers suspiciously. Hardison rushed to his tear-streaked girlfriend with watery eyes.

"Oh my god, Parker, are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"Hardison," she choked when he removed the gag.

"How did you find me?"

"Look at me, Babe, look at me. I'll _always_ find you."

"You monsters!" Sophie accused.

"Look, lady," Mal growled, "I don't know who you are but your friend here-"

"Okay, I think we got off on the wrong foot," chuckled Eliot nervously, "so let's start over. Mal, this is Sophie, Nate, Hardison, and you met Parker. Guys, this is Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds."


	4. Chapter 4

"Mal!" the pretty brunette called, "Mal! We have a bit of a situation!"

"What is it, Kaylee?" replied the Captain.

"It's Badger, he's waiting for you in the cargo room."

"Oh _juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan_. Will that _hwun don_ ever leave me alone?"

He followed Kaylee out of the room and Eliot, feeling uncomfortable leaving the others with Jayne, ushered the rest of the team to accompany him. Soon, there was a crowd of people in the cargo bay surrounding Badger.

"Where's your _go tsao de _men, Badger?" Jayne sneered.

"There must be some misunderstanding," Badger began, "I have no idea who this 'Badger' character is."

"Cut the-"

"Uh, Mal," Eliot barged in, "this isn't Badger."

"Of course he is! You tellin' me he's just another guy from your time that happens to look exactly like him?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Allow me to introduce myself," Not Badger began nervously, "the name's Sterling. James Sterling."

"Sterling, what are you doing here?" Nate demanded.

"I was following you," Sterling defended, "and, frankly, I've had enough of your cute 'time-traveling' prank and would like to talk business."

"This day just keeps getting' weirder and weirder," mumbled Jayne.

"You can say that again," Mal sighed.

"This day-"

"It was a rhetorical statement, Jayne."

"I knew that."

"Anyway," Sterling continued, "I'm done with _this_." He made dramatic hand gestures, "So I'll be off."

"Sterling, wait," warned Nate, "this is real, you shouldn't go off by yourself!"

The man continued walking down the dirt road.

"Eliot, you should go get him."

"Why?" demanded the hitter.

The mastermind thought for a moment before replying, "You're right. We should be more focused on how to get home."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sterling wondered through the streets of Persephone until he ran into some burly-looking men.

"Hey, boss, thought you were inside already," one of the men said, looking directly at Sterling.

"Excuse me," replied James.

"Yeah," the other one said, "you have a meeting with a client today, remember?"

"Oh course," murmured Sterling, completely puzzled and unaware of what the hell he should do.

The two men stood aside and allowed him to pass into a sagging, shack-like structure. Inside wasn't much, rotting wooden beams held up the ceiling composed of scrap metal. It wasn't long before he stumbled into a room with a table and a handful of chairs that looked like a place where hobos would play poker, but that wasn't what disturbed Sterling. What was particularly intriguing was that the man sitting in one of the chairs was…._himself_!

"The hell's this then?" Other Sterling demanded. "I don't have time for any _yu bun duh_ tricks! Who the hell are you?"

"Could ask you the same question," said bewildered Sterling.

"The name's Badger, I suppose your name's Badger too?"

"No, though, you're not the first person to be mistake me for…." Sterling groped for the right wording.

Badger stood up and walked toward the man, "Have I gone mad?" he asked himself.

Sterling had no answer. He eyed Badger suspiciously as the look-alike poked him in the shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Making sure you were real. _Wuh de tyen, ah_, this is a messed up world I live in."

A feeling of dread washed over Sterling as he realized that Nate might've been telling the truth.

"What year is this?" James asked hesitantly.

"Oh, now that's-"

"I'll be able to explain everything as soon as I know what the year is."

"2517, you _chwen joo_."

While Badger inturupted with colorful language in different languages, Sterling began to explain that he was most likely a direct ancestor from the past.

"Well, do you have a more believable explanation besides I'm: ' full of _da bian hua_?" Sterling quoted one of Badger's most repetitive phrases.

The other man just kept mumbling: "Perfect, I'm running out of clients, and I have someone that looks like me telling a _kwong-juh duh_ story that he's from the past, and Mal _still_ won't answer my calls, and-"

The name _Mal_ caught his attention. Hadn't he seen Nate and his "team" on the man's ship? Maybe he could strike a deal….

"Say, Badger," James began, "those men outside, they work for you, correct?"

"Yes," he snapped. "Why?"

"How exactly expansive is your workforce?"

"How ex- I run the planet you _yu bun du chwen doo_!"

"Well, I know people in relation to this_ Mal_, and would be happy to help you strike a deal with him, for a price."

Badger's ears perked, "What'd you lookin' for?"

"As you can see, I don't belong here, nor do I want to be here. The deal's simple: I'll help you with Mal if you help me find a way back home."

The other man pretended to think, it was bad for business to appear to desperate.

"Alright, you got yourself a deal, Sterling. Now, here's what I need you to do…."

**CHINESE TRANSLATIONS:**

_juh jen sh guh kwai luh duh jean jan_ = this is a happy development

_hwun don_ = bastard

_go tsao de_ = dog-humping

_yu bun duh_ = stupid

_Wuh de tyen, ah_ = mother of God

_chwen joo_ = moron/idiot

_da bian hua_ = shit/talking of shit

_kwong-juh duh_ = nuts/crazy


End file.
